LITTLE OCTOBER SMILE:::

Two minutes Thought.
Imagine:::

If everyone cared, then nobody would cry
If everyone loved, then nobody would lie
If everyone shared, then there would be no inadequency
If everyone was humbled, then we would all be smiling

You sit there and blame him for leaving
And you haven't apologised for cheating
He didn't care enough to keep your trust
But he was stupid for overlooking your lies
Precisely why you both are crying

Imagine if we shared our stipends
And ceased to complain of our inadequencies
When in the same nation others die of lacking
While neighbours cry for not having that little
How then can we sit and pray for more
When the little that in us can't be shared

You are almost at a standstill my sister
Because he hasn't said or done as you thought fit
So now your pride is almost driving you insane?
Does he even know how you feel?
Have you tried to ask how he's doing today??
Ainn't it time we all swallowed our pride,
And cared of our inner piece, loved what and who we have and want to have,
Shared the little we got in equal measure as we pray for enough for ourselves.
Swallow our pride and smile to ourselves.

I know it's hard, am I even doing what I write?
But who told you this life will be easier to live in??
Who lied to you that people will love you just because you love them??
Who told you you deserve enough just like your friends??
We all have to fight for what's is right
Care for our little feeble hearts
And share for our lives are fragile
We all deserve a smile today

Smile and lift your face up, tell someone that you appreciate them, apologise to him/her without worrying about his/her response, fulfill a promise you made because you can, make someone smile and I can guarantee you'll have a reason to smile right back.

ENJOY YOUR SUNDAY. WELCOME TO OCTOBER 2013, LOTS TO SHARE AHEAD.

thank you to all those who woke me up after September was over.cheers!!!

I LIVED

I want to say of the eventual day
When my presence will be yesterday
And my relevance will crumble and vanish
My fear is to being forgotten in a fortnight
Knowing I lived, loved and had insight

I was here, I cared, hated and cried
About life and lived too, though in critical care of the unknown
I was around when my tribe was a reason to die
When terror was used to unravel religion banners

I was here when we travelled with our hearts in our mouths
And surveillance only came after a brother's demise
When a politician would define the morals of a society
And I still couldn't afford a decent three meals a day

I always kept my smile, ready and genuine
It gave me strenth to hold on to my sanity
In a country where friends die faster than the blooming of my flowers
I was reduced to a celebratory object of relevance

All this didn't dim my love for my land
Because in equal measure I lived with angels
Brightest family, caring friends and a lively countrymen
I loved, I cared, I hated, I cried but kept my strength
Because my existence was not mine alone

When you read this words, you'll smile you are alive
Because my life will have vanished with all I have
Write a good word on my epitah
To represent my fights in the world
The wars I only fought with words

What I Will Miss About Tomorrow

Finally tommorow is
near...but I gave up today n
broke up with her,I told her
I was tired of waiting n
everytime I see her I try
to resist the temptation to
make love to her as she told
me she is not ready.

I told her I have set her free because I don't want to hurt her
feelings by rush into something she not ready to do...we spent 371DAYS just CUDDLIng.. sigh!!

Coz she wanted it special one of these days and I could have been
given it all. She didn't tell me coz she thought I would wait why quit the last day?? if only I knew how, She was gonna make her birthday special by offering herself to me...

Ainn't it ironical that she thinks I didn't know her plans?? Thanks to my date with her dialy, I wasn't surprised to read it, but was happy it answered my questions.

She will never know I knew the plan, because I refuse to follow a schedule. I am not good with sentisizing some moments, I always hit a nerve, I always break their hearts and I refuse to break hers; not in that way.

Goodbye sweetheart, maybe we'll be, maybe we'll not, maybe we are, maybe we are not. What we've shared is eternal, what we've shared to each other is precious because it was deep and honest, but our destiny is in what will be after today!!

What a loss, what a miss. Hahaha, on to the next one!!!

My Fruit Devalued

My eyes ogled at the beauty in show
And I craved a taste of its every piece
I wallowed at the thought of having it in my arms
I thought first sight is a guarantee of possession

I lingered below waiting for wind to come
To gift me with such a one chance fruit
Became a slave of my imagination
and had strong feelings to stand by

As my neck ached from staring up
A small breeze turned it the other way
I saw a black spot on the pretty peel
An injury from a sharp greedy beak
Evident that someone had seen it before me
Sucked the juice out of it with convinience

How can I be so unlucky in dawn
To just love what has been loved?
To yearn and crave for what i don't deserve?
I can't compete with the sucking birds
Which fly and perch their deserving juice

What a soul to do, but to move on
Can loving be such a devastation
And my fruit is has been devalued
Because a bird sucked just coz it can

Head down, eyes dropped, drag my feet, walk and forget
I will go on just because I can

:::MORNING PRAYER:::

" We can pretend that aeroplanes on night sky are shooting stars, I can really use a wish right now, wish right now x2"
Aeroplane by B.O.B

Strong piece, strong lyric, epic wishline. The many times we're really imagining it was different. When we praying our situations came at a different time.

I don't know what it is you wish was different right now, what you are wishing you had with you, or who you wish would be besides you, talking with you, replying to your texts and yelling you it will be ok!!!   

For a moment think about those moments you have right now, those that you haven't even told your lord thank you. How many times do we forget to appreciate the little we have and linger and take for granted the blessings of live, health and peace??? We lament and cry, cloud our judgements with what we don't have and forget to appreciate the blessings in our lives, the sweet people in our lives and parents who give their all just to make sure we keep focussed on the goal.

Take a moment, look beyond the horizon and say thank you for what you got, pray for those who are not as lucky as you are, those who can't enjoy three meals a day like you can, those nursing illness and injuries, those running from violent homes, villages and countries, those who have nowhere to call home, no place to sleep and nobody to take care of them.

Thank you God for another bright day, another healthy day and new dreams rejuvinated. I will thank you for every bit of blessing you have shed on to my life, friends, family, workmates, neighbours and even enemies.

I kneel for those kenyans who are mourning, crying and healing in hospitals. I pray healing to the turmoil and tragedy those kids harbour in their souls, in their hearts for things they have seen,  heard and those that have happened to them. God heal them and make strong parents, leaders and doctors out of them in future.

Thank you lord for making me your child and a bonafide in your ocean of blessings. I appreciate your care for lets face it, I am nothing without you lord.

Submission::: Lessons From a Palm Tree

Look at the resilience of a palm tree, the beauty and the braveness in that beautiful coastline. Its a tall straight tree with a mass of long leaves at the top, growing in tropical countries. It is notably true that you'l find no other species of trees close and firm.

Ever wondered how these palm trees survive the coastline winds??

Ever wondered why there are no other tree species on these coastlines??

Ever wondered why such thin and tall tree doesn't breakdown???

I doubt you are following my lead so far, but I'll cut the chase. On my saturday afternoon expendation after work I went to visit an ever so wonderfull friend. Unfortunately I had a really heated confrontation with  security officers (another day's story). It got so long, full of threats and intellectual wrestling. Just before they let me go one of them told me a story I want to share. Read below...

He asked me the three questions I asked there above in the post then proceeded to tell me. He told me, walk to a coastline and you'll meet the palm tree,  standing tall and brave in the beauty of the coastline, in which its absence wouldn't be equally memorable. Haven't we all learnt to associate the memories of  beachline expendations with a coconut palm tree, tall and gaity??

While the winds are ever so strong, unforgiving and destructive; the palm survives. It does because it has learnt the art of submission for survival. It just needs to bend and submit to the forces of the winds and it never suffers the wrath imposed on the seemingly feeble stem. It bends like it's bowing in show of respect and surrender, cheats its way to survival and life to report the morning sunrise- like a duty.

After the wind subsides,  it straightens and like a coastline warrior, spreads its unharmed radiance ready and resilient.

Any other tree tries to be bold, face the winds head-on, resist the wrath. Consequently, the fatal winds breaks them into destructive and forced submission, detrimetal and equally forgotten.  They die with their ego and get swept like a pets poop on the doorstep.

The guard continued. He said it with a straight face, concerned, firm and full of wisdom. I liked him instantly, and hoped he tells that to his kids. I got touched and even loved the likeliness of the story to the situation we had just undergone. He was spot-on.

As much as theirs was a trial into demeaning me, to get me to admit to empty accusations, bullshit offences and intimidating talk, I learnt loads from the story. I hate the way the officers in a position of  law try to always turn you to a begger at their mercy. They want you to worship them and if you don't you'll suffer their stupidity. They treat you like you don't understand yourself, your rights or the rights of your position or environment. But his was a story of how to survive in a cruel world, defeating environment, a hard relationship or just a winning way of life.

You'll find in that situation you failed to submit and importantly you had nothing to lose, so much strength, hurt, and regrets would have been avoided. Ego is a harsh teacher to learn from readers.

Those situations that could be avoided and you'll get out unhurt and even happy it was so easy and unimportant. A bully who intimidated you, would just require you to submit to his stupidity for a minute and you'l be free, happier and wiser. He wil think you are weak but you well know he is the stupid one and you didn't even break a sweat, heaven will strike him for being a bad example to humanity.

I could go on but I know you all get my drill. Peace people.

Oodles of Reasons, **I can love you**

So long since I updated on this blog, hope you've been great boys and girls of mother earth. I have crawled, walked, and ran since the last time we talked, I have laughed, smiled, loved, hated, blessed, cursed, made friends and enemies in equal measure.

It's being long you can tell and I have missed to rant and rave, reveal and unravel on the passage and baggage that is my life. This not so interesting piece of my life.

Today I will share a note I wrote to a beautiful lady and never sent it, in a moment of ecstasy and elation my desire to call her and tell her of my heart's turmoil, only I couldn't because my mind is darn stonger than any feeling that my heart will ever feel. I know it (mind) has failed me so many times but I suck enough comfort in the knowledge that am still alive and smiling, what is mine will always be mine, I got what I deserve and all that is not here will come.Godspeed.

Here it is,

Hi,
Believe what is unbelieavable and dance a little just because there is music, shout and scream just because nobody will care, jump and say what you feel in your heart, things you haven't shared with your closest friends, words you wish you would say to someone and fantasies you wish would come true. What would you lose if you let all your inhibitions go for a moment, if your fears freezed in a while and all the butterflies in your stomach paused. A silent, serene moment to say all there is to say, feel all you wish you would without guilt of regrets, kiss and never tell just because you can.

Sorry Trizza, these are the moments of my life since I met and got to know you, I have held them so many a time, while I know I haven't so successfully hidden my strong feelings for you, I wish you'll read these note and be in knowledge of what I feel for you. I have loved you and will love you for a long time, it's one of no condition  and I will make you aware I don't expect a reply for this note, it's just my heart couldn't hold itself on ransom for non-expressed love to a beautiful woman. I wouldn't wish to oblige you to make any statements in its respect just an aknowledgement that you've received and read the words.

I am a single gentleman who has tried to remain so for such a long time, and I can love and care for a lady of my dreams. I am hardworking and very ambitious in life which I believe are good traits. I can make you smile and keep the smile always, I can listen to you and your fears anyday, I can cry with you when you're sad and laugh with when there is joy between us.
I can remember your birthday and our anniversaries, I can remember our dates and arrive early always, and will even remember the date of our first kiss. I can be murshy with you as you watch your emotional movies and soaps, I'l even watch and narrate them to you if you sleep off on my laps. Sigh!!

I will go to your favourite joints, picnics and enjoy your every minute with me. I can be a good guy, I can love you. I know you don't have to be amused by this note but you can't even believe my relief to have found the words to write today. Have a nice evening, see you tomorrow beautiful lady, as usual its 9.00am, and remember to carry a note to write the navigations for the weekend. Goodnight

RUNAWAY:::

While the breeze slaps blank my visage
And the numbness of my toes do ache
The speeds of my breathing at optimum
And the cold in these paths keeps me mum
I am running from ignorance, hate and timid minds

I can't seem to hate these critics
I guess because of my dim optics
Inability to see bad in their antics
And the esteem I hold for my peace of mind
I just have to run and avoid their tide

You take my kindness for weakness
The very hazard to our codial relation
You think care is a right in your existence
Yet you can't give enough, ainn't that double standards

I want to run from unsettled lovemaking
Because am a little short of your kind of loving
Am walking away from emotional contamination
Things I strongly wish I would forget

Am walking away from questions
Am walking away from our night missions
Am runnings from your stiff unforgiving life
Staying away from your daily expectations
Am condemned and mistreated here

I have to Runaway

In The Invisible Cocoons

In the promises lighter than baloons
And my care less than of goons
In the sunrise of your dire boom
I'll watch over to avoid my doom

This same mouth that promises heaven
Brings hell right on to your haven
And the foot that stumbled on your bed
Strayed onto your friend's for the weekend
The softness of my sweet-arrested tongue
Licked the foreigner deserving only a hang

I was the fair gentleman of her night
And the sweetness which swallowed her might
I saw her passion melt my ignorance
And the bare moment rekindled her pains
She rightly echoed your moans and groans
Coz my depth was right beneath her bones

The weight of my words is shame
But the swimming of my pin is not same
Dive into a neighbouring forbidden pool
And discover edges yummy than the home's cool
While you experience stolen moment's pleasure
And strokes as free as air, no pressure

The expectancy of every mistake
Borne the failure of a mature climax
And the frequency with which you are able
To effect my coming inumerable times
Coz that's the missing link of times
The very reason I've come back to you

Stay

It aches to have to reminisce, to fantasize in my thoughts. These days are too long to have to endure alone. I watch at the stars to reconnect to the nights we used to spend in the moonlight, and the smiles we shared because we noticed a shooting star at the horizons.

When I left on that fateful sunset, my heart was left in pieces, a hollow icebag where I had kept your heart. My dreams always play with my mind, I hear you breathing beside my bed, but I wake up to a lonely bed. I see you in my visions yet my mornings are lonely and cold.

I am coming back home, I am driving all night to see you again, I am coming home to say these words I have kept inside for so long. I am travelling by night and if you ask me I will stay.

If you haven't replaced my love I will stay, I will say am sorry for being careless with our love, I am sorry for letting my heart doubt us for a moment, because since the day I left I have only loved you more, since I walked out of your door, I have always yearned to knock and say am back.

If you feel the same I will stay, if you you gave your heart away I will cry, if I hold you again I will heal but If I can't have you I will mourn

I will run under those shades we lingered and and laughed in sunlight, I will sit on those benches we sat on to watch the stars, as you sat on my laps and held on to my touch, I will visit the riverbeds we sat beside and shed my last tears for us. I will shout like we did on those dry vast lands we walked on in the grasslands, I will every stone we sat on and left notes of the promises we made to each other. I will carry them and burn them in shame. All these I will do in tribute to our moments in love, as an interment to a love I failed in.

Am coming home before it's morning, I will be there before the sunshine, to wait onto to your smile and the crisp on your eyes. If you ask me, I'LL STAY

The broken Soldier

A son runs naked across the room
Happy to make dad smile as he loam
Mum calls softly from the bathroom
Soon the water will not be that warm
And the son might not like the cold
Two decades later this mother weeps under the sheets
Her son is cold in the enemies'  forest fronts
She fears what the cold will do to her only borne
And almost wails at every report of a soldier's death
She tried to prevent it with all her heart
Tried to pray and fast, to void a dire hurt
Her husband had made up his mind
The son was convinced it comes with being kind
And the society praised a young man, to go to find
Service to his motherland
What lies deep beneath a young soldier's heart??
Before he lets loose his first aimed bullet,
Before he lands deep into a live battlefield,
Before he sees his first bullet tear into a man,
And the color of blood fills his virgin eyes
Is there courage like they are taught in those barracks
Or is there pride as he watches another man go in cracks
Does he sing and aim for his next, unknowing target
Or lingers to swallow the magnitude of what his hands managed
Is it true fear lies behind the barrel of a gun?
Yet a soldier is the symbol of brevity and courage?
Do their eyes show what their hearts feel
Or are they coached to hide their fears, for their country to heal
A mother moans one less son to a bullet
A young woman cries her husband of one year is missing
A girl weeps her dad is never coming home again
I weep because their stories will never be told.

When the Broken sing

She sat at the crest of great turmoil
Watched her father attack her mother
Endured the screams while she slept
She sobbed,  burried in a mountain of clothes
To try shield herself from the torture

She grew and got educated in law
But the anger, pain and agony was still raw
Lost her mum at still an able age to live and laugh
She believed he had causes her sudden demise
The anger and angst grew at heart

To heal the broken heart and soul
God sent her a man of strength and patience
Though she rejected and loathed being with a man
His might and understanding made her sing again
As she helped other abused women in the village
The man taught her to tap that joy to heal herself

She had never thought she could trust a man again
Yet this one had forced her heart to soften again
She found her destiny in things she did to pass the time
And healed a society as she healed her soul
Finally she could sing again
To a tune of victory, peace and forgiveness

Icy winds turned warm and tender
The eagles stretched their injured wings
A strange and silent strength discovered...
When the broken sing.

The fields that have lain bare and barren,
Turn a cool refreshing green,
Diamonds stud the shocking blackness...
Where empty nothingness has been.

When the broken sing