Sunday, 26 January 2014

Writing: For my fears

> Unwritten. When you finally live in planet earth long enough (like I think I have), you come to realise that not everything is categorised rightly, not every profession is correctly and sincerely named, and not every job description (most don't) match up to what your employer finally gets you to do.

See, the reason I say these things is to showcase my inability to focus, to show how unable I am to perfect one thing and how unlucky my days are that I can't seem to choose that x-factor opportunity. Maybe I never prepare enough, maybe my day is not here yet, maybe am meant to have what is just at tip point between enough and not enough, to learn how to balance, or maybe am just a moron who never appreciates what he has and always thinks he deserves better (or maybe I do).

One of the often things I do is write, but you might never read anything like an anthology, paperback or a bestseller by me, not until I believe you should. We live in a world where writing plays a big role in societal development, information passage and reference as well as entertainment. That's how we learn to develop titles of people like writers, novelists, poets, journalists,  feature people and upcoming and emerging writers. I fit in none of these, I am undefined,

I am the kind that gets the million dollar idea while in the shower but the idea gets freezed by the cold water, or I get a really nice idea to write about but am somewhere squeezed between two fat women in an unroadworthy matatu, am just a hazard to writing or writing to me is only in the mind.

Other times my fear is in how shallow my paragraphs are, how often I misspell and how scarce my quotations to famous philosophers and critical thinkers are in my writing, so I get scared that it won't be interesting, I fear that nobody will identify with my writing.

It's tough but that time passes, those moments fade away and the fears dissipate. You wake up and suddenly you don't care so much about mistakes , about being among other important people, and when your fear was in writing, everything changes and you just want your words to be out there, to be read by others, to be critisized by great writers and rejected by editors yet the only thing you care about is they are out there in the open...


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