Monday, 13 May 2013

You Know Your Mother Is Kenyan when and if....


1. #YouKnowYourMot­herIsKenyan if
she has a drawer or a place for
keeping paper bags after buying
something in it
2. #youknowyourmot­herisKenyan if
when she beats u up she says "unalia
nini na ata sijakuchapa?"
3. #YouKnowYourMot­herIsKenyan
when she beats you with pauses; nani
*slap* alikuambia *kick* ufanye
*pinch* hivyo!"
4. #YouKnowYourMot­herIsKenyan if
she has ever tried to remove anything
that looks like dirt from your face with
her saliva, even a birthmark.
5. #YouKnowYourMot­herIsKenyan if
she asks you questions that have no
answers 'Kwanini ulivunja thermos?'
6. #YouKnowYourMot­herIsKenyan if
after whipping you anakushow "na
niskie ukilia uone"
7. #YouKnowYourMot­herIsKenyan If
she responds with "Vunja Yote
Umalize" if you accidentally break
utensils made of glass.
8. #YouKnowYourMot­herIsKenyan if
she had special plates and cups 4
9. #YouKnowYourMot­herIsKenyan
when ur forced to wear a boshori till ur
in class 4..
10. #youknowyourmot­heriskenyan if
she ever asked you "kama kazi yako ni
tv siku mzima'
11. #youknowyourmot­heriskenyan
when you are boi/babi, and she tells
you "mwambie umetumwa na mama
12. #YouKnowYourMot­herIsKenyan if
she had a list of neighbors and
relatives where you should not dare
step into."nione umepeleka miguu
13. #YouKnowYourMot­herIsKenyan
When she calls you from the bedroom
to take a remote that is right there on
the table.
14. #YouKnowYourMot­herIsKenyan If
you fall asleep on the couch but wake
up in bed,well covered
15. #YouKnowYourMot­herIsKenyan if
every new baby in the family lazima
ashonewe sweater ama poncho
16. #youknowyourmot­heriskenyan if
she threatens to hit you by actually
hitting you!
17. #youknowyourmot­heriskenyan
when you lose money and she says
shika izi zingne pia ukapoteze!
18. #YouKnowYourMot­herIsKenyan
when she buys you oversize uniform
and says " hio utavaa hadi class 8"
19. #YouKnowYourMot­herIsKenyan if
ukido dhambi anakupiga akisema "ni
makosa tunapiga si wewe "tKnowYourMot­herIsKenyan if
she spat on a handkerchief to wipe
your face when you were young
21. #YouKnowYourMot­herIsKenyan
anaitwa bash pahali, alafu jioni
anawaletea mokimo pilau nyama na
soda kwa paperbag.
22. #YouKnowYourMot­herIsKenyan if
ulichapwa for eating at the

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