Friday, 26 July 2013

How to lose a Friend

This is a DIY Guide on "How to lose a friend....."

We've made friends since we were one day old, we make them in all ways, places and time. What we do with them is the main issue here.

I have made a myriad of them myself, I make them with my eyes, some I touch them and we are friends, some we collide along the pavements, we sit beside them in matatus, we spend in a jail cell together, we queue in a bank , we meet in weddings, parties, funerals and classes too.

All this are places we meet people who end up been friends. I met one in a washroom in Thika town three years ago. No, we didn't talk while taking a piss, guys don't do that, we don't talk while holding 'little john'. It's awkward and inappropriate. Girls do that, they bond in those places, they borrow and exchange stuff in there, they advice each other or mislead each other in there, they repair their make-ups in there too. Its a nice place.

I happened to talk to my friend because, my almost decade old shoe failed me, I slid, I was heading to the damned stinking floor, As I was deciding fast what part of my body will land first, hand, head, butt or my face, he held me, he rescued my sweet ass, held my helpless board (read body). I was ashamed, but elated.

He let go his 'jonny' and helped a dying brother, he became my brother, he became my friend, he still is.

How can you lose a friend??? I will tell you how. Take a moment and imagine every of your friends, now imagine you've lost all of them.What is it that you can do to warrant such??? What would they do to cease being your friends???

I've met my fair share of them, and lost a big chunk.
BETRAYAL. This is a common way to lose them, get used to betraying your friends and you'll lose them east, west, north and south. Just because you think its right to call her mother and tell on her you think it will be alright??? No, it won't. If a friend shares a secret with you, it is in confidence, shut your gop.

STATUS CHANGE. I will not try to define that, but whenever you get a step ahead, school, workplace, or in the hood, always remember ideals change, stories change, interests, hobbies and perceptions  change. When any of these change, friends change too, you seek where you are comfortable, because even previous friends feel out of place sometimes with you. Times you get one or two who remains, keep them, try to live with them, you'll need them sometime.

BORROWING. You will lose them at record time, it will be dangerous to be close to you, your friends will avoid you and they will have good reasons for it!! Avoid it, borrow when you must, make it rare.......

Below is my pot-full of them reasons. For some reasons this post is becoming too obvious, too predictable. Its easy, you will lose friends if you gossip about them, if you assume every friend is a new lover, if you try to mendle in their relationships, and breaking promises.

Don't become awkwardly friendly to your friends boyfriend/lover. They will hate you, you will be misunderstood. Leave your invitations to your friends don't extend them to everyone. If you make fun of a friend in the presence of your other friends, they will hate you, especially if he/she doesn't know them well. Avoid using strange jargons with one friend when the other doesn't know their meanings. They will not ask, they will be on their heels....

If you start being too serious you will lose them too, turn to be very playful, childish and uncontrollable and they will run.

Enough education on the obvious. Make sure to ask the teacher questions on our next class. Good day people. Make a friend before sunset today, because you might lose another before sunrise tomorrow. I hope you don't.....


  1. he he.. The loo part and ladies!!

  2. is it true?? guys do not talk in those places, its never appropriate...