Tuesday, 6 August 2013

My Girlfriend Trainee. (1 Post)

I am answering these questions to avoid getting my usual rush whenever someone asks. If you are like me you should be already tired with the just to cliche' question, " What kind of gal do you want?? What do you want for a wife??"

I will be careful not to offend the romantics and the true believers of love and its antics, my opinions on this post are well protected in my right in this platform. I am not a believer in a prepared package of a lover.

I have met women, ladies and girls in my life; yes, there are differences to what they all refer to. That's for another day. I have men tall women, short women, fat, thin, big lips, tight lips, big eyes, chinese eyes, big nose, supple legs, mapped legs, and all those other kinds that a more observant guy would see. It will surprise you to note that all these beauties have their lovers, people who think they are the most pretty things in the world, yet a bloated TV designer would dry his mouth trying to make me believe there is a more true and mainstream defination to the beauty of a woman???? I beg to differ, it's only in the beholder's eye that the true beauty of a woman stays and its right defination respected.

This post was about a lady I want to train and be my girlfriend. To be the manager of my happiness and the distributor of my desires satisfaction. The desires are many they need a manager.

She can cook, (scrabbled eggs and black coffee don't count).
She can make this man smile even when it doesn't seem likely.
She can make love at the most unusual times, places and situations. A lady who can feel horny when we so mad at each other, because she is able to differentiate our treasured moments and obligations from things that will pass.
She can be left with my mum for a week and they won't fight or sneer at each other for even a second. You have to understand that there will never be a comparison between the two of you.I need both of you, know the balance and lets all be happy.

She can contribute in a growth, advice and rebuke me when am wrong but not try to force my hand. I need to be the man in the house, if we become two men in the house then we will need to separate and search for other women to marry.
She needs to be beautiful on eyes, on heart and on the society, after all she will be the public image of the man I am.
She need to understand a career woman with a family remains to be a wife at the house, and a mother to our children, and should behave the part.
I have more but they are based on don'ts.
I was taught to concentrate on the positives all the time. The glass is half full kind of thing!!

I will say something that I still don't understand but because I won't care to let someone explain it, I'll just write it here and propagate my inability to understand these beings we fall head over heels for. Where do women get these things??? Where are they taught?? Because you can import one from mars and when we men sit to discuss our women, we talk of the same songs , same excuses, same behaviours beliefs and practises.

Excuses are the more hilarious ones and I will share a few of the ones I have experienced and heard from friends.
Imagine!! You are out of your senses and blood has completely left your upper head to the lower one. We all know where the blood is that's where the commands are the strongest. no? Maybe it's just me and my friends then. Then she turns, looks at you in a kind of hurry to get back to something else....

"Swts, I have a headache."
"I am very tired today."
" It's still too early swtheart"
" I don't feel like it babes!!"
"All I need is to cuddle up today"
" I have to wake up very early kesho"
" I feel like watching the TV"
"I don't wanna miss the soap today, its the last episode you know!!"
" I am very tired babes"
" Is that all you think about when you see me??""
" You must understand me as a woman"
" I just feel depressed, like there is something wrong with our rship"
"I am in those days babes
I thought you know my periods?? I explained them to you!!"
" I need to sleep, I woke up very early today."
" I just want you to hold me today and not do anything"
"I just want to hug and carress today dear, nothing else."
" All I need today is a good massage before I sleep, I hope you understand??"
" I am just from the salon and I don't wanna mess up the hair."

Whooh!! I am almost going crazy in my head right now. As you have seen, I have tried so much not to comment on any of them. Between you and me, "I know it would all be vanity trying to have an opinion on any of them if you are a man. Accept they will be there and enjoy the days she looks at you with an inviting eye, and pray those are the many days, because if its vice versa you are screwed. Or aren't you???

We love you ladies, after all you will  always see us with our tongues on our shirts as you pass in the corridors. That's how much we love you,  it's just that showing it ainn't so easy a task, and you also don't make it so easy for us. Times I wonder whether there's a woman in this planet earth who really has an answer to what she really want. Like a concrete answer???

Ok! ladies read and get your definition of what kind of lady I need. Applications open, deadline is when I get a match. See you in those letters.

*** I should add, no mohawks, leggings and weaves***

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